My Experience Only. YMMV.

Misery and Math

One day, when I had too much time on my hands, I came up with a theory: The Mathematics of Misery.

Basically, there are two stages of misery – wallowing and getting over it.

In my theory, the wallowing stage is necessary. You need to feel the misery, own the feeling, and try to figure out what (if anything) caused it. If you omit this stage, you won’t learn whatever lesson there is.

Then you move on to the getting over it stage. Ideally, the getting over it should involve eliminating the cause of the misery. (Keeping in mind that there are laws against homicide and you’re probably at that awkward age when you can be tried as an adult. I know I am.)

Now, here comes the mathematics.

According to my theory, the proper proportion should be 20 percent wallowing and 80 percent getting over it. But for me, that’s an unreachable goal (especially before I was medicated). Thirty to 35 percent wallowing is more realistic. It’s when the scale tips over 50 percent wallowing that you definitely need to get help. Preferably professional help. And I’ve been way over that tipping point.

It’s like the stupid scale in the doctor’s office. I just keep trying to slide the weight closer to the getting over it end.

Comments on: "Misery and Math" (4)

  1. Keep on sliding that scale! This reminds me of the distinction I draw between venting and bitching: venting is talking about something to process it and get it off your chest, bitching is continually returning to the topic, niggling at it like a loose tooth. We all bitch occasionally, but trying to get into the habit of venting seems more helpful to me. I’ve recently discovered the power of the one sentence vent 🙂 It’s amazing how therapeutic speaking just the right words to just the right person can be!

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    • I agree. I once tried to vent about the same incident to two different people. One tried to explain why the person had annoyed me and how I could fix it. The other said, “Tsk, tsk. That’s awful.” The validation was the one I really needed. Thanks for visiting and commenting!

      Like

      • My pleasure! Validation is awesome, isn’t it? Got to love people who are happy to simply listen. I sometimes find myself falling into the trap of offering advice, even here on WordPress. *sigh* Such a human instinct, and one which is so often a misplaced sense of helpfulness!

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  2. “(Keeping in mind that there are laws against homicide and you’re probably at that awkward age when you can be tried as an adult. I know I am.)”

    Excuse me, dying. *laughs* Naw, this sentiment… I dig it a bit too well. ❤

    Like

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